


Subjective

by hazelandglasz



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Dom Kurt, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Light BDSM, M/M, Spanking, Sub Blaine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-08
Updated: 2014-10-08
Packaged: 2018-02-20 09:24:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2423588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazelandglasz/pseuds/hazelandglasz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anonymous asked</p><p> </p><p> Klaine, you accidentally shipped this weird thing to my apartment au</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Kurt is losing a staring contest.

With an inanimate object, sure, but still—he doesn’t like losing, and the package is winning.

Honest to God, Kurt didn’t try to steal the .. thingy from his neighbor, as cute and scrumptious as B. Anderson may be.

He was just coming home from his morning shift when the delivery guy from FedEx had knocked on his door and shoved the package in his hands, without a word of explanation.

And it’s not Kurt’s fault if the package spilled its content the moment Kurt closed his door.

And now, Kurt is losing a staring contest with said content.

What the fuck is this thing?

Kurt doesn’t have the first clue, when a random thought pops in his head and makes him jump from his chair to start walking around the living room, leaving the Thingy to the counter.

What if it’s something … kinky?

Like a spanking thing or something, Kurt doesn’t know, he’s not in BDSM (or never got the chance—he digresses), or maybe it’s a two-in-one sex object? Like on one end you have a spanking tool and on the other you have a dildo?

The smoother end of the Thingy is smooth enough, it does feel like Kurt’s own toys, were it for the weird metal thing in the middle … Maybe there is such a thing as temperature play? The metal is bound to stay colder than the silicone part, it could be usef—

Of course, of fucking course his brain immediately provides images of his neighbor’s naked body (Kurt has a very good imagination), kneeling on Kurt’s bed while Dream!Kurt plays with his round butt, smacking it with the whip, string, whatever part before smoothing his hand over the marks it would leave on the skin and … Ok, so maybe Kurt is more into BDSM than he thought.

"Good to know," Kurt whispers, one hand covering his mouth while he tries to calm the beating of his heart. Before he can properly take care of the erection tenting his pants, though, a knock echoes from the door.

The shock and a quick visualization of Rachel’s former boyfriend’s bare ass (eurgh) take care of that, and he rushes to open the door.

Ah, there he is, cute as ever. “Hi, I’m Blaine, Anderson?” his neighbor says with a soft smile and his tight polo and dark, skinny jeans. “I guess you’re the Kurt who left me a note about the delivery guy leaving you a package for me.”

"That would be me," Kurt replies, letting the man come in. "And I, um, I’m very sorry but the package really just opened, I didn’t pry or—"

"Don’t worry," Blaine says with a wave of his hand, "I’m used to that company’s poor packaging."

So he regularly buys from that company. Kinkier and kinkier.

Kurt is far too curious for his own good, he knows it. “Do you mind telling me what it is?” he asks, keeping his thoughts to himself.

As in, _and if it is the kinky shit I think it is, can I come and play?_

"Oh, it’s an avocado slicer!" Blaine exclaims happily, mimicking the act of going through an avocado with the Thingy.

God he’s a pervert. “Oh.”

Blaine lets out a little giggle. “What did you think it was?”

Nope, not opening that can of worms. “Just—I didn’t really know what to think, to be honest.”

There, safe.

But the hum Blaine lets out tells Kurt that his neighbor at least guesses that Kurt’s thoughts were not of the culinary variety. Shit.

"Well, I would love to thank you for being so helpful," Blaine says after a pause. "What about dinner? For neighbor bonding?"

A split of a second, Kurt thinks that he said “bondage” and his erection starts making a come-back (you really do learn new things about yourself every day in New York), but he quickly recovers. “Sounds like a good idea. Tonight?”

"Seven ish?"

"Want me to bring something?"

Blaine opens his mouth before giving him a dark, hooded look, eyes darting down before coming back to his face. “Just you will be plenty enough.”


	2. More crackiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #or more like Kurt going through Blaine cupboard and finding more and more disturbing things?

If Kurt thouhgt that the avocado slicer was weird, it’s nothing compared to the other appliances in Blaine’s kitchen.

And since Kurt spends more and more time in said kitchen, he starts wondering if his mind is in the gutter or if Blaine is trying to send a message.

There is the Ice Cream “Scoop and Stack” tool:

 

that truly puzzles Kurt as to what it is doing in a kitchen and not in Blaine’s bedroom, even if he does appreciate the artful way Blaine serves ice cream with it in his home-made cones.

Ah, speaking of which: the foam thingy he uses to roll the barely cooked biscuit of his cones bares an uncanny resemblance with some … other appliances Kurt has seen in more than one adult movie.

Through all of it, Kurt grinds his teeth and keeps quiet, enjoying the fact that his boyfriend is so talented in the kitchen.

But it takes the arrival of the "citrus reamer"—not even a pun, it’s the thing’s name and it makes Kurt go crazy with curiosity.

Is Blaine really kinkier that he lets on, and is he trying to unload his need for kinky stuff through his purchase?

Is Kurt that boring? I mean, if Blaine asked, Kurt definitely wouldn’t mind trying a few things—his daydream about the avocado slicer before he knew it was an avocado slicer is still vivid in his mind—but he can’t just arrive and ask if Blaine is up for some spanking, can he?

Instead, he takes a less direct approach.

——

Blaine is serving them pasta with his new gadget, babbling about how great it is when Kurt gathers his courage and clears his throat.

"Do you think we’re boring?" he asks, and Blaine freezes before setting everything down on the table to sit next to him.

"Of course not, are you crazy?" he replies, "You know I think you’re the most interesting man in the while Tri-State area!"

Kurt sighs and huffs. “I mean, like—like sexually,” he confesses, avoiding Blaine’s gaze. “We’ve kept it pretty safe and sometimes I wonder if, maybe, you’re looking for something a little bit … dirtier.”

At last he chances a glance at Blaine, and his breath catches in his throat in the hottest way possible. Blaine’s eyes are dark, so dark, even in the glow of the candles he lightened earlier, and his cheeks are flushed red.

"I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable," he replies, voice husky and a little breathless while he rubs circles on Kurt’s back. "But if you’re comfortable with that, I’m more than comfortable to get … dirty."

Kurt launches himself forward to kiss him, his lips possessive against Blaine’s until they’re both lying on the couch and rutting against each other’s leg.

—-

As it turns out, and Kurt can’t say that he’s surprised, Blaine has many tools in his bedroom too.

Tools that Kurt is more than happy to learn how to use, with and on Blaine.

Like the crop that leaves hearts all over Blaine’s back and that Kurt is more than happy to retrace with his tongue and his lips, turning Blaine into a vibrating ball of horniness—a heart-patterned ball that is.

Or the toy that Blaine enjoys the most, the plug with a fluffy tail, that Blaine begs Kurt to put in him after being fucked into the mattress, and they lay in bed, Blaine’s head on Kurt’s chest while Kurt lets his fingers play absentmindedly with the fur until Blaine is hard again.

All in all, Kurt gets his revenge—so to speak—on Blaine when he comes to his place one evening, a black bag in his hand.

"Go on," he tells Blaine, handing him the bag while he takes his coat off. "It’s for you—for us, really."

Blaine carefully opens the bag, pulling the silk paper out of it with the look of a five-year old on Christmas morning. But as he unfolds the paper, his excitement shifts to confusion and Kurt refrains from giggling. Finally, Blaine looks up, tilting his head to the side. “What is it?” he asks. “Is it for the curtains, because I said I wanted something to give them that folded look?”

 

Kurt huffs a laugh before sobering up. “No, no, pet,” he replies, and there is a subtle shift of Blaine’s features, his eyes taking that dark but obedient quality they take whenever they play. “Look, you just pull here, and ta-daaa,” he explains, showing Blaine how to reveal the cuffs and Blaine beams at him. “Fashionable handcuffs!”

 

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you so much," Blaine squeals, jumping from his seat to wrap his arms around Kurt’s neck. "Can we try them? Please?" he asks, and the demand is so sweet, how could Kurt refuse?


End file.
